home photo video store blog · login 

a calming of the BrainStorm…

The past couple of Fridays I’ve bored you with long rants about things that unnerve me, so today I figured I would keep it short (because I’m lazy and a little buzzed) and switch it up to talk about a couple of things that I like and enjoy.

First and foremost is skateboarding. Skateboarding has allowed me to participate in numerous illegal activities such as skateboarding in public, public intoxication, and urinating in public; all three of which I thoroughly enjoy. I’ve also been fortunate enough to learn the art of shit talking. Even though I haven’t yet mastered it, I still love to partake. We, as skateboarders, have manufactured this into endless entertainment and hilarity. From constant shit talking amongst the homies to completely breaking down strangers from a safe distance, it’s always a good time. Most of my friends are experts in this field and could make any ten-year-old girl cry. Keep it up boys, job well done.

Speaking of shit talking comes pooping. I’m pretty sure everyone likes shit and everything that surrounds it. Some say and act like they don’t appreciate defecation, but we all know they do. It’s universal. While dry docking the fudge boat, there is always clarity in the mind; time to relax, rejoice, and think. Have you ever seen the statue “The Thinker”? He is 100% pinching a loaf while contemplating his own existence. I try to accomplish this pose and state of mind almost every time I squeeze a burrito unless I am in the woods, back against a tree, praying no fecal matter squirts on the back of my legs. Along with this incredible anal contraction comes another equally important sphincter movement, the fart. Nothing is more gratifying than spraying your own poo mist into the eyeballs and nostrils of those closest to you. Speckled shit stains in the underwear, the whole nine yards. Hilarious. All slang, derivatives, and connotations of dropping a deuce will never get old and always keep people laughing.

“You know what comes from shit seeds Ran? Shit weeds.” – Jim Lahey



2 Comments to a calming of the BrainStorm…

  1. chet lemon's Gravatar chet lemon
    07/01/2011 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    Spoken like an ancient philosopher.

leave a reply

you must be logged in to post a comment.